trigger warning: medical talk and some biological terms, mentions of blood
to get this out of the way first, one of my biggest dreams for my whole life has been to get top surgery. thankfully, i will be getting that at the end of september and i am so very excited! however, i do have other surgeries i would like to get, and a hysterectomy was one of them. i got a radical hysterectomy, which means i got both ovaries, the entire uterus, and my cervix removed. my hysto was done laproscopically, which means the surgery did not require a giant incision. instead, four tiny incisions are made (two on my stomach, one above my pubic area, and one inside my belly button). the surgeons use a tiny camera and tiny robot arms to do the surgery, and pull everything out through your front hole (i dont really like the v word sorry). you finally get sewn up at the top of your front hole's canal. overall, it has been an alright experience despite the complications i had a few days post-op. my surgery was done on june 25th 2024, so at the time of writing this post it was about almost a month ago. so, i guess a question you might be asking is
why did i get a hysto? how is it gender affirming care? surgeries are different for every trans person. not every trans person wants to get every surgery, and some may not want any surgery at all. everyone experiences gender dysphoria and euphoria on different levels. that being said, i personally got my hysto because i: never wanted to give birth, never wanted to have a period again, want to prepare for the possibility of bottom surgery later down the line, and just for general dysphoria reasons. of course, a uterus doesn't define someone's gender, but i personally wanted to be as close to amab as i could get. i also already didn't really have periods anyways because i've been on testosterone for over 2 years, but i still wanted to make sure they never ever came back at all. for some people, a hysto can serve as birth control as well. my spouse already has had a vasectomy so i don't need to worry about that part, thankfully. i'm still unsure about how i feel with kids, i do wish i could have just one but that realistically will not work out for me. plus, if i ever did have a kid, i could never handle the dysphoria that comes with pregnancy and birth. anyways, so now you kinda get the gist of why i got my hysto, but now you might be wondering
how was my experience? a bit complicated! i wasn't really nervous before my surgery, i was mainly excited that i get a whole month off work to recover. i was told not to eat or drink (except for taking medications) after 11pm the previous night. i got to the hospital at about 7am or so with my spouse. i was given clear directions of where to go in the hospital in my previous doctor's appointment, so i didn't get lost at all. the reception staff was nice to me, and gave my spouse some information about where to get food, where to wait, and how to track my progress through surgery. i was pretty quickly shown my way back to my pre-op room, which was a small room with a curtain and a bed and a chair. i was told to give a urine sample, and there was a bathroom next to my room where i was able to do that. i went back to my room, changed into a gown, wiped my stomach down with some cloths they gave me, and talked to some nurses. i will note i was very dysphoric about my chest being all "out" in the gown and stuff. i got my iv put in, was given quite a few meds to take, answered some questions, and met my anesthesiologists. at around 8am, i was taken back to the operating room. i actually passed out and went to sleep before they gave me the stronger sleep meds (they give you a light sedative before the strong one) and before i knew it i was awake. at this point i was in pain because i had to use the bathroom really bad and it was putting pressure on my insides. it took me around half an hour to wake up fully, and i was suuuuper groggy and felt crappy. i was in a room full of other patients which felt kind of weird, but they were all sleepy too so i knew they weren't looking at me. i was finally able to get up and go to the bathroom, and i sat down to try to eat some crackers and drink some water. this part was miserable. i could not stay awake and i felt so sore and it hurt to do anything. i was eventually able to go home, and my spouse drove (which was scary, i hate giving up control of the wheel). so when i got home, i went straight to bed, and started the process of
recovery. everything was fine! until it wasn't. for the duration of the day of and after surgery, i literally slept, barely ate, took my strong pain meds, and i eventually managed to shower. you are allowed to shower a day post op, just taking care not to get your incisions too wet. in the shower, i noticed bleeding from my front hole. i didn't think too much of it, really, because i just had surgery so of course i'm gonna bleed, right? not exactly. while some bleeding is normal, if you bleed enough to fill a sanitary pad in an hour or less, it means you need emergency medical care. side note: wearing pads again sucks, i'm actually still wearing them at the time of writing this :( im just too worried about surprise bleeding. anyways, i was bleeding a lot. i was filling a pad in way less than an hour, more like 30 minutes or even quicker. i still went to bed as normal anyways, but my spouse was pretty worried at this point. i thought to myself "i slept and all i did was stand up to shower, there's no way anything is wrong". i put a towel under myself and went to sleep, but i woke up at 3am and i noticed the towel (and my pad) were completely soaking with blood. like. it was crazy. this is where i realized, oh shit, i think it's time to go to the
emergency room. so, i packed my spouse in the car with me and drove to the nearest emergency room. side note again: this er was not the same hospital as the one where i got my surgery, because it was about 30 minutes closer to my house than the other hospital was. i got to the er, and i was the only one there. embarassingly, i had to tell the clerk i was bleeding after having a hysterectomy. you could tell by the look on her face that she was really confused, because a man was telling her that he had a hysterectomy. i pass pretty much 100% of the time and i hate to come out to people. after a few minutes i was taken back to a room. the staff here was really nice as well, and i was only misgendered one time by a nurse who didn't know because she only had seen my chart and not me in person. at this point, the bleeding is getting worse, and i am stuck with an iv and did typical intake questions. i was taken back to get a scan, and when i got up i had already soaked the entire bed with blood. i soaked the scanner bed with blood, too. i tried to use the bathroom once i got back to my room, but i quickly noticed giant blood clots were coming out of me. it was very scary. i got blood on the floor, the toilet looked like a murder scene, and i was sure i was going to die from bleeding out. i waited an hour or so before the nurses told me they had to call an ambulance to take me back to the hospital i had my operation at. one of the nurses told me that the other hospital had requested i put gauze soaked in saline on the bleeding area. he offered for me to do this myself, or that he could do it for me. as dysphoric as i am, i was too scared to do it myself. so, i had to take off my pants and let this guy shove a whole roll of wet gauze up there. gross, i know. i was able to dissasociate from the situation and tell myself it's entirely medical and there's no need to be self concious about anything. i was then taken to the ambulance, and the two paramedics were so friendly. i was on my way to the hospital, about a 30 minute commute, and there was morning traffic. i had to have my spouse uber to the hospital because he can't drive legally on his own yet. eventually we got to the hospital, and i was put into another emergency room. i loved the staff so much, they affirmed my gender and asked how i would like to be referred to. they were so sympathetic with me. i was still soaking through beds, by the way. completely ruined them. eventually, a doctor came in and had to do an exam to try to find the source of the bleeding. this of course involved some stranger seeing my parts again, yay :\ it wasn't too painful. she ended up not being able to find the source of the bleeding anyways, because the blood was just coming out too fast. you could tell she was worried about how much blood was coming from me. she assured me i wasn't going to die, and i didn't even feel lightheaded so that was a good sign. she went to talk to some other staff, and came back and told me they would have to preform a
second surgery. this went in a very similar fashion to my first surgery two days prior. i talked with my doctor who did my original surgery and she was surprised to see me back. she assured me she would fix the issue, and that something had just came loose and that it happens sometimes. it wasn't my or her fault, bodies just suck. she said they would be able to reuse the same incisions they made the first time, which was good news. she also went over some worst-case scenarios, like blood transfusion or more serious measures to find the exact cause of the bleed. i only really got scared right before they took me back for surgery, and i cried a little bit at the realization of what was happening to me. i hadn't had time to think, i had been up since 3am and i was exhausted and i didn't want to be where i was. so, i was wheeled away. i woke up, again, in the same room as i had the first time. same deal, i was in pain, but less than before, and after about 30 minutes i went to the bathroom and i got some absolutely awesome graham crackers and apple juice. that shit made my day lmao. i wasn't nearly as groggy as the first time, and i felt okay. when all was said and done, i think i went through 5 hospital beds and probably at least 10 pads with blood. i talked to my surgeon again, and she said everything went well. my spouse and i got an uber back home, which sucked because this guy did not turn on the air at all and it was awkward and quiet. but the guy wasn't an asshole or anything, just awkward. we finally got home. finally. i slept some more, i was able to eat, and i didn't bleed much more after that. so, what about
now? well, right now, at about a month post-op, i haven't had too much pain or bleeding. this morning actually, i did bleed quite a bit which was the first time since the incident. i was scared, but after a bit i stopped bleeding and i've been fine. this much bleeding is normal, and you can bleed small amounts up to around 8 weeks post-op. something to note is that after any surgery where you get put to sleep, your intestines can take a few days to wake up. i've been on stool softeners and laxatives and after a few days post-op i finally was able to use the bathroom again. i really don't want to go back to work, but at the same time i also really want time to pass fast so that i can get my top surgery done already. do i regret my hysto, even with what happened? nope! i'm glad i did it. i would do it again! modern medical care means complications like this usually are not going to kill you, and honestly i'd rather deal with one shitty surgery than to have periods or that source of dysphoria again. i feel so much better mentally now that i don't produce estrogen. it just feels like this is how it was meant to be all along. as i said, all of the doctors and staff were amazing and accepting, and i reccomend them to anyone in the eastern pennsylvania region. if you're from this region, feel free to contact me so i can give you some details if you're considering a hysto. so, yeah! if anything else happens, i'll update here, but i think from here on out it will be smooth sailing. this was long, sorry lol XP thanks for reading!